SGUINEVERE

Trying to find my place in the world

Is it already mid-April?!

I can still remember the first month I was here, which was November. 
5 months down.
Excuse me while I lay down for a second to process that.
Time really does fly. I still remember growing up here.

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Last Monday was my last full official day at work in Hong Kong. It was such a bittersweet moment and the end of a very memorable, once in a lifetime experience. There were definitely ups and a lot of downs, but I had a goal and I was able to accomplish it. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful for all the wonderful people that I was able to work alongside with and got to form great friendships with.

As my treat for my coworkers who have bailed me out of trouble countless amount of times, I was able to have Sift hold Red Velvet, Salted Caramel, and Carrot cupcakes for me the night before (they were still super fresh and very moist the next day when they ate them!)

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Although I am sad to be leaving, it was time to move on. I was talking to my (ex)coworker and she asked me a really interesting question. She asked, "I know I'm selfish.. but have you ever thought about staying?" My answer was simple, "All the time." I said before in my other posts that I wish there was a possibility to make the gap between HK and SF closer or maybe being in two places and living in both places at once (half of that is possible, I guess, if I have enough money to afford that kind of lifestyle). After 5 full months, it has occurred to me that Hong Kong people are such hardworking people. But it's to the point where hardwork does not equal reward or any benefits to themselves. I have not only seen my coworkers work overtime 5 to 6 days a week, some days from 9am until 10pm, but I have experienced it as well. My cousin doesn't come home until 2am at least twice a week (not because he's at happy hour). It just made me wonder, what is the motivation? There are so many variables that factors in. Is it really worth working until you get really sick (whether its from a real sickness or just wearing your body down/overworking)? I guess growing up in both worlds and finally realizing the difference is really shocking. The standard of living and the balance between life and work is much more relaxed in the US than here (you're probably thinking duh but it never occurred to me that there was such a huge difference). Anyways, the question my coworker asked sparked this internal debate inside listing the reasons WHY I should stay and the many many reasons why I need to cherish this experience, move on, be successful in what I have in store for myself in the future, and be able to have the luxury to stay in Hong Kong for however long I wish. 

One more day until I fly off to Korea! Stay tuned lovelies.

'Tis the Season to be Homesick

4,838,400 seconds, 80,640 minutes, 1,344 hours, 56 days ago I set off on a journey. To do what exactly, I still have to figure that part out since my objective seem to keep changing.

It's interesting because I never really thought about it before I left home. I have realized that I didn't think about a lot of things until the time actually came. I consider both places home as I have spent an equal amount of time in the two cities. But it seems like whenever I'm in one, I terribly miss the other. We can't ever be happy with what we have, can we? I already know I'll miss Hong Kong the second I leave and the second I land, I will be planning my next trip out. It's predictable because it happens every time. If only the two places were closer to each other.. like San Francisco → Oakland or Hong Kong → Kowloon. A girl can dream..

It really hit me that I was homesick when I got off the bus today returning home. I didn't really have time to think about things like this since work took up 120% of my life. As I stepped off the bus and waited for the pedestrian light to change from red to green, it hit me. I don't have work tomorrow. Since today is Christmas Eve, tomorrow is Christmas day and I finally have a break from work. (Is it sad that all I want to do is sleep?) Having a break from work seems far-fetched and unreal. I walked across the street suddenly feeling lost and homesick.

Being by myself all the time is quite nice since I've always had somebody by my side all the time for the past four years. Especially in a busy city like Hong Kong, people are so busy rushing to work/home/school that nobody really notice that you're there. It gives me a lot of time to think about the possibilities of my future and to worry less (I know, how is that even possible). I have identified a huge problem that I desperately need to find a solution for-- living in the moment and enjoying it. I feel like I'm always thinking about what the next step is and anticipating that than enjoying what is in front of me. Who cares if it's old Asian ladies walking really slow blocking the entire road, I should probably find something to enjoy about those moments. The only downside of being by myself is when I think of random moments that makes me laugh out loud or when I start having conversations in my head and end up talking to myself (I swear I'm not crazy...) 

On a lighter note (•⊙ω⊙•), this is probably holiday depression. It will eventually pass and I will be back to work in no time (not sure if that's a good thing or not..) 9gag definitely helps during times like this.

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Anyways, I was definitely missing the freezing nights at the apartment last (or was the the one before last?) December, where my two favorite people were surrounding me on my bed watching Supernatural and eventually ending up getting a $100+ PG&E bill from our portable heaters. ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)